A Few Twilight Nibbles
by Tilly123cat
Summary: A few Twilight nibbles: tiny Twibites of info.
1. Are you in love with E C?

How you know if you are in love with Edward Cullen:

You giggle every time you see the name "Edward" in a book or movie.

You've named anything you possibly can (including your pet fish) "Edward".

Even though you love Bella you secretly hate her because Edward loves her not you.

You start writing "I (heart) E C" on all your school books, and the teachers start deducting points every time you write it.

You waited until midnight to get your copy of Breaking Dawn so you could be "with Edward," and you grabbed it so fast you almost forgot to pay.

When you finished reading Breaking Dawn you cried at the thought of being without Edward forever.

You scream and get excited at the very mention of the magic word: "Twilight…"

You freaked out when you realized they were making Twilight a movie, and saw it the very first showing.

You threw your beloved copy of Twilight at the computer when you saw who got cast for Edward

There's a sacred place in your room for all four books

You are counting the days until the next movie (Or Midnight Sun) comes out

You bought Clare de la Lune and loved it the first time you heard it.

Even though Wuthering Heights is boring, you forced to read it just because Bella loves it.

Even though a replica of Bella's Bracelet is $65 and is probably pretty junky, you just have to have it.

When Edward leaves in New Moon, you go through the same process as Bella.

You have forced all your friends and family to read Twilight.

You read this whole list and agreed with all of them.


	2. Are you a crazy Twilight fan?

How you know if you are a crazy Twilight fan:

1. At school you and your friends act like the Cullens.

2. You leave notes at your house for Edward whenever there is a change in your schedule so he knows not to come over that afternoon.

3. Vampires are real and anyone who tries to tell you otherwise has obviously got a death wish.

4. When people make fun of Twilight and/or your obsession with it your crouch down and growl at them.

5. You ask people in public if they've seen your short dark-haired sister Alice.

6. Your favourite past time is thinking about Edward…

7. You put on body glitter and stay away from people when it's sunny.

8. You and your friends like to look out for Cullen-Cars, or Cullen-Worthy-Cars.

9. As soon as the movie for Breaking Dawn comes out you will buy a baby doll that looks exactly like Renesmee.

10. You have watched Twilight so many times you know at least one of the scenes off by heart.


	3. How to annoy Edward Cullen

How to annoy Edward Cullen:

(This is not Reasons Why You Shouldn't Annoy Edward Cullen – that's already been done. And sadly not by me.)

These are rated from number 1 (big insult) to number 20 (slight annoyance)

Number 1: Put on body glitter, and run down the street on a sunny day shouting, "I'm Edward Cullen!"

Number 2: Force him to eat human food.

Number 3: Shove him over the boundary line to La Push.

Number 4: Go to the back of the Cullen house and throw rocks at their big window.

Number 5: Push him into the sun while singing "Diamonds are a girls best friend."

Number 6: Play with a lighter dangerously near him.

Number 7: Smash his CD collection. When he comes into the room give him your best "special" smile and say: "Ooh… Shiny…"

Number 8: Call him a "stupid shiny Volvo owner!"

Number 9: Tell him that Bella and Mike Newton would make a great couple.

Number 10: Try to take his pulse and run away screaming when he doesn't have one.

Number 11: Tell him you are looking for blood donors, and ask if he would like to volunteer.

Number 12: Ask if you can touch his hair.

Number 13: Ask him if he thinks Charlie (Bella's dad) is secretly a unicorn.

Number 14: Buy him a dog for his birthday and name it Jacob.

Number 15: Ask him if he thinks Robert Pattinson is hot, and when he says no, tell him he has self-esteem issues.

Number 16: Constantly remind him he almost lost Bella to a dog. A few "Woof woofs" should do.

Number 17: Ask him why he likes watching Bella sleep, and call him a pervert.

Number 18: Post his phone number on an Edward Cullen fan-site.

Number 19: Get him a $100 gift voucher for McDonald's, then act offended when he tells you he doesn't eat.

Number 20: Put Bella's blood on his new Pine-Fresh car freshener, and then say Jacob did it.

Please, whatever you do, don't try these at home.

If you do, then I'm not going to be the one scraping your remains off the sidewalk.


End file.
